Redefining Success: The Dry fish or the Large puzzle
Hello CC Fam,
Here we are a week into the new year and along with that are the first weeks analytics on our New Years resolutions. How's everyone looking so far?
As for me I've been pondering the past year and my biggest realization and I'd like to share it with you fine folks. But first a question:
Have any of you ever questioned your idea of success?
Like, what if success isn’t what you’ve been led to believe?
For years, my compass for success was skewed. Raised in an environment where survival trumped ambition, my view of success was a distorted echo of reality.
Orphaned at 13, my sisters, not much older, became the guardians to me and my younger brother in addition to their own children. No finger pointing but their world was survival, not aspirations or ambitious goals. Jobs? Rarely. Structure? Even rarer.
In most Caribbean households “structure” is misrepresented as “respect”, so much so that there’s a Caribbean proverb that goes, “Manners carry you through the world”. As if all that one needed to succeed in life is a pleasant disposition towards their elders. This was my template for life. So, success, in my eyes, was a distant, almost mythical concept.
Consider the analogy of a fish out of water – an alien sight for sure.
We know fish belong in water, so this is an enigma that defies our understanding. This was my perception of success: something so foreign, it seemed unattainable or a spectacle so baffling it leaves me lost without a point of reference.
To me It seemed as though success was merely about being in the right place at the right time – as effortless as a fish in water but this superficial understanding was far from the truth.
My flawed understanding was one of the causes of me chasing shadows to failure, and my confidence waning as a result.
But had my past ensured that I’d continue to fail or could I pivot by shifting my perception to “failing upward”?
The journey inward began.
Months of journaling, deep discussions, and relentless reading. I peeled back layers of my past, my traumas, and my warped money mentality.
As I delved deeper into my psyche untangling the root cause of the flaws in my perception, I discovered that success isn’t a pre-destined outcome.
Success isn't a fish out of water. It's more nuanced.
It's not about merely finding water, but the right kind of water. A deep-sea fish can't survive in a shallow pond.
Likewise, success demands the right environment, adaptation, and understanding. The real essence of success lies in the journey, not the destination.
Growing up in the Bronx, I only saw the [determination of survival] I never saw [the mechanics of success] - the work behind the curtain. Bills got paid, crises averted, but how? It seemed like magic. This lack of visibility twisted my perception of effort and reward.
Here's what I've learned: success is a gift-wrapped box adorned with your specific dreams and unique aspirations. Atop the box is a visual of everything y our life could, would, should be down to the monogramed socks!
Yet, upon opening, you find it filled with a complex puzzle. Each piece represents a step, a challenge, a moment of growth.
It’s a solitary, often daunting task to piece it together, but the image that emerges is uniquely yours – a testament to your journey and efforts.
Success, therefore, is not a static state but a dynamic process of assembling the puzzle of your life, one piece at a time.
- nuff said.
That's all I have, hope it left you with something of value or at the very least something to think about.